What Should I Eat?

They should totally make one of these for Australia.

I have to tell you something.

I’m scared that by the time I come back there’ll be too many new Fug entries for me to keep up with :(

Go S!

S had fun last night ;)

Link removed at request by guess who.

<3

When I was in year 7 I changed email because there was so much junk mail about penis enlargements and crazy porn and I don’t think spam filters existed back in the day. My parents came across them and assumed I had subscribed to these products seeking to enlarge somebody’s disco stick and I remember we had this massive argument where I was screaming out the most obvious and stupid things ever like “I DON’T EVEN HAVE A PENIS”.

Anyway, ten years later C tells me that he was the one who looked up all those websites to subscribe to them using my email because he liked me.

Spotty

There’s this really annoying thing my parents do.

A few minutes ago they were warning me against the dangers of overexposing skin to UV light, and my dad launches into his famous testimonials about the husband of some family friend who didn’t believe in sunscreen and ended up with a face full of sun spots and now basks in regret. My parents always have testimonials to back up whatever lecture they’re giving me. They know someone who can’t find a husband because they didn’t wash the dishes. They know someone who broke out in rashes because they ate too much chili. They know someone who dropped out of uni to work at Red Rooster because their parents spoilt them as a child.

Anyway back to the sun spots. After every anecdote he’d suggest I confirm the details with the subject of the story, obviously knowing very well that it would be the last thing I’d do. Today he says, “you can call him and he’ll tell you about what not wearing sunscreen did to his skin”.

So I imagine myself dialling sun spot man’s number, “hi, you don’t know me but my parents are friends with your wife and they were telling me that you’re riddled with moles, so what happened?”.

I was thinking one day I’m going to say “ok, give me the phone number”. But despite the fact that I’m quite sure most of these stories are complete bullshit, if it happens to be a real one I’m scared I’ll have to follow through.

Leighton Meester feat Robin Thicke: Somebody to Love

New MV from Leighton Meester.

My honest opinion is that Leighton should focus on playing Blair Waldorf and quit while she’s ahead after Cobra Starship. If she had crazy enviable vocal chords then it would be different. She’d be like a Gossip Girl Kylie Minogue or something, but the voice in that song could be an electronically enhanced anybody. It could be Serena. It could be Little J. It could be Eric.

She looks like a high class prostitute. I can sort of understand why trashy might be something to aspire to for someone who plays Blair all day but a mediocre song with a hot rebellious Leighton gyrating against random men isn’t as appealing as one would expect.

Besides, heavy make-up hides her eyes, and she has the best eyes ever. I like the red lips though.

Well at least she’s expressing her inner skank through music. Sadly the same can’t be said for Jenny Thigh Highs Humphrey.

Book Review: Kafka on the Shore

Like I said, this book didn’t interest me at all with its exterior, but after reading it I think they should change the cover to do it more justice.

I was telling C that I don’t read much fantasy when he pointed out that “fish raining from the sky” and “soldiers in a forest that never age” are more fantasy than anything else. I wanted to argue that this is then a different sort of fantasy without elves and shit but couldn’t do so without sounding like a moron, so I guess Kafka on the Shore IS fantasy.

The story follows two characters in alternating chapters. One of them is Kafka Tamura, a 15-year-old boy who ran away from home to escape his father’s curse; the other is Nakata, an elderly man who due to a childhood accident can speak to cats but is otherwise very intellectually impaired. As expected, their fates intertwine significantly, however they never actually meet. Because of the Oedipal curse placed on Kafka and the way the story revolves around it, the book has been called a modern Greek tragedy. Just one of the things I learnt from it, it’s in some ways very educational :)

After reading it once I have a strong feeling that I haven’t fully grasped the meaning of the story. S said he’ll read it too and fill in the gaps for me so hurry up S. I’m going to read it again in any case.

“Murakami states that the secret to understanding the novel lies in reading it multiple times”. Well there you go.

I really loved the descriptions of all the people and places. I had my Lonely Planet guide for Japan on hand and looked up all the places mentioned in the book and this made the whole thing seem a whole lot more real. Characters in the book wore Ray-Bans and Polos and Chucks and used Mont Blanc pens instead of sunglasses and white/blue/green/yellow shirts and sneakers.

There’s one part I remember particularly well. Nakata is lead into a house where he meets a man who is really surprised that Nakata doesn’t recognise him. The man is wearing a red blazer, a black top hat, white pants and long black leather boots. When he points his attire out to Nakata as a hint, the latter still doesn’t get it. The man then stands up and sticks one leg out as if he’s frozen in the act of walking and I think to myself, Johnnie Walker?! But that’s ridiculous, right? I abandon the thought and read on and the guy IS ACTUALLY JOHNNIE WALKER. Anyway, this part is memorable more so for what follows this unexpected revelation of identity but I won’t spoil it.

So when a short little old man wearing a white suit and a string tie appears later on, I’m not so surprised to find that he’s Colonel Sanders.

I highly recommend Kafka on the Shore if you like something a little surreal, a bit meaningful and at the same time addictive to read. I’m going to read it again but for the time being it’s a 8/10.

More perspiration, not so much inspiration.

You know it already but I’m going to say it anyway. It was unbelievably hot and humid today. So hot that I called a taxi instead of walking to the station.

C and I went to his primary school best friend’s 21st tonight. It was a small gathering and everyone was really nice but it was so so hot. We walked into the backyard already sweating and I saw CANDLES of all things lying around emitting more heat and when the birthday boy’s mother came around with a cup of ice cubes I wanted to tip it over my head. It was unexpectedly fun, especially for a room of people I absolutely didn’t know or have much in common with.

On the way back C let me drive, although a little grudgingly. This is because when I reparked the car earlier I tried to move forward while still in reverse gear. Yes I KNOW I KNOW. However, I drove to JH’s to pick up PS3 games for C and then back home without any incident, although it was a bit intimidating driving on unfamiliar and surely unnecessarily convoluted roads. Some roundabouts had so many exits they looked like octopuseseses, and due to lack of insurance C sometimes got a bit nervous which made me more nervous. I’m so glad I didn’t hold off getting my licence long enough for C to teach me to drive. Even if it didn’t result in us breaking up I’d probably need regular sessions in a quiet room to sob uncontrollably for the rest of my life.