Dad has gone to badminton and Mum has just finished packing me some green tea.

I’m despondently munching seaweed tempura.

At M’s suggestion I’ve packed my pillow a one of my blankets. Now the bed looks deserted and sad. It’s looking at me saying why are you leaving me? Haven’t I been comfortable enough to you? Come back, look, I still kept your butt groove, you know you want to, come on, COME ON oh forget it. I have JBJ over there in the corner. He will please me in ways you cannot.

What am I wearing RIGHT NOW?

• Bardot peach kind of floaty blouse
• Cream Witchery “curtain” scarf
• Black Wish leather jacket
• Indigo Bettina Liano Ace jeans
• Very little make-up, surprisingly, or not-surprisingly, because I can’t be bothered

I’m trying to pack for Maitland, starting with the essentials, i.e. work-appropriate clothing. So far I have:

• 1 pencil skirt, too big
• 1 pencil skirt, too long
• 1 white button-up shirt, unwashed, will wash when we arrive, I guess
• 1 powder-blue blouse, too short-sleeved, too blousey
• 1 pair of charcoal pants, too baggy
• 1 black skirt, too dressy

Well, nobody to impress. Just what sounds like an elderly preceptor and B.

Stacy: Then why did you call her an hour after she left the clinic? Nurse Previn said you asked her to have Kayla come back in.

Chase: The way she hesitated I thought she might have had a doorknob question.

Stacy: ?

Chase: Patient comes in, says he’s got a sniffly nose, you examine him for 10 minutes, right? Then you’re leaving, hand on the doorknob, and he says “oh yeah and my penis has turned green”.

Category: drug brands starting with “A”.

Me: Aropax
K: Avanza
Me: Atacand
K: Aropax
Me: Said it
K: Um … Avanza

H wanted me to add, “H was also present, but was eliminated from the conversation”. He also wanted to be codenamed ‘hot guy’ but I shot him down.

M: That’s like, when was it … today- no, yester- what was it? Yesterday, I think, last night … yesterday night, yeah, last night, when you guys came over and knocked on the door and then hid behind the wall …
Me: That was tonight, like two hours ago
M: Wow, it felt like yesterday

Me: Would YOU go?
M: Yeah but it’s different for us guys
B: Unless you mean if a guy asked me
Me: Yeah, what if a guy asked you, would you go?
M: Depends on their physical size. If they’re small, you can easily beat them up. But if they’re really buff then … I guess you’ll have to be submissive
Me: I don’t think I can beat up a guy of any size really
M: He’ll probably rape you and throw you into the sea
Me: But you know, if it was a girl that asked me I’d totally go. I don’t care who it is
B: Yeah definitely
Me: Unless … she was lesbian and wanted to rape me
B: … Well, that’s okay